My dad just died
Bernie Klein - armed
One cold morning, back in the early 60′s in San Luis Obispo in central California, my dad and his friend drove out to Morro Bay to dive for Abalone. They would do this with masks, snorkels, no tanks, and no wetsuits, in water that if they were lucky was in the 50′s. Those days California was still fresh, and Abalone were plentiful. One day when they were out, underwater, they saw a shark, a real big one, my dad thought it was a great white.
Berny, My dad didn’t have much money in school, but he had a friend who was a prince from Saudi Arabia, who had a Ferrari. The prince couldn’t drive as well as my dad, so my dad got to drive the car in races. Closed course, Laguna Seca type races.
When I was about 7 years old I was in my back yard in Sun Valley, in the desert hills on the outskirts of Los Angeles, up high where you could see where a million people lived, in my vegetable garden, I noticed something. Suddenly there was a good sized rattle snake about a foot and a half from where I was standing, coiled up, starring straight at me and rattling. I knew I was not supposed to move, so instead I screamed. My dad came running out, grabbed a shovel, and chopped that thing until it was in 10 little snake pieces.
My dad tells the story, of when he was a kid Bugsy Siegel came and visited their house and he got to hold his gun. I love that story.
My dad fixed stuff. Could fix anything. Engineer by training, and just a brilliant guy. I remember being about 10 years old, and him drawing complex math diagrams on how the pressure would build up in an engine, just before the spark blew the gas. He taught me how to fix cars, siphon gas out of a gas tank, mow a lawn, and paint a house.
He also left the right books for me lying around. When I was 7 years old I found a book he had on Yoga and meditation. I had just learned to read, so dove right into it. Started meditating and doing yoga then, which led to other things, and put me on a path of enlightenment. I remember around the age of 10 I found a book he had on logic. Started studying that, and doing the problems in the book, that helped a ton later on.
When I was 15 he bought a motorcycle. I think he had one in college. It was an OSSA. A Spanish trials bike, the kind that you could drive over boulders and trees with. It smoked like a mother, and at the age of 15 he used to let me ride it on the street, and go wherever I wanted.
When I was about 5 years old he got me started driving. I would sit in his lap on the freeway, and steer. Then probably around 6 years old he taught me how to drive full on. He had a FIAT spider sports car, with a manual transmission. We would go to the big parking lots around our area at 2 in the morning and practice. First I practiced just letting the clutch in and out, and then steering, and shifting, the whole thing. Hell of a fun thing to do with your dad when you are 6.
When he was in his 30′s to get a little exercise and break free, he would take off on his bicycle in the middle of the night, and ride the streets of Burbank at 2 am. That impressed me so much. Do it myself from time to time.
Back in 1964, the year I was born, he supervised the construction of the first computer with 1 Megabyte of memory. He was into this high technology, computer thing back in the days when people were still in black and white on T.V. 
When I was 15, I was playing football on the street in front of my house with a bunch of my friends. My dad had recently gotten his motorcycle. He was in his early 40′s. He decided it was time to learn how to do wheelies. He had never done this before, not when he rode bikes in the past, and not recently for sure. Over and over again he would go up the street, and we would have to step aside from our game, while he gunned it harder and harder. First the wheel only went up a little. Then a little more, but he couldn’t quite break from gravity and get it all the way up. This was by the way on a plain old asphalt paved neighborhood street, with sidewalks and curbs on both sides, and no helmet. Then he finally goes for it full on, accelerates hard! Front of the bike goes up! Way up! and he falls off the back. He is still holding the handlebars, and tries to pull it off. He ends up on the bike, on his stomach, riding up the street, rams into the curb, and crashes into the bushes. God I loved him at that moment. I had the coolest dad on the street.
He loved to sail as well. Studied it. Had boats on and off his whole life. Wasn’t afraid of putting himself into some pretty radical situations. Once in Santa Barbara we ended up being stuck in swells so big our 30 foot sailboat just couldn’t handle it, and we got pulled in by the harbor patrol. Another time he sailed into the Newport harbor when it was breaking in the channel, if you know waves you can get what that would be like.
When I was a little kid we would get up in the middle of the night, and make Dagwood Sandwiches. These were sandwiches, with as many layers, and as many sandwich ingredients as you could find.
When things would go bad, and I would be stuck somewhere I would call him, and he would come. 2 in the morning, up in the mountains, out at the beach with a broken down car, or 500 miles away.
He would come, and he would fix stuff.
Real competent guy, smart as a tack, and worked like an ox.
The world will be a much more broken place without him.
I look forward to the next time we run into each other.
Love ya dad.
You did a really good job.
Your son,
David
My heart is truly with you DK. Much love.
ReplyThanks JT! Truly much love
ReplyAll the best DK. Sounds like he was an absolutely amazing human being, and that shows through you.
Reply@Arjun:
Nice words.
ReplyThanks brother.
Dave, I’m truly sorry for your loss. Knowing Bernie just a bit, and having had dozens, perhaps hundreds, of conversations with you over the years about him, I know he was a very special, and wonderful person. The world lost a true original. Here’s to Bernie. And his gifted son.
Love,
Mark
ReplyHi DK,
My Dad died 27 months ago and it was a bigger shock to me than I ever anticipated.
I’m with you.
ReplyThinking of you tonight DK.
Reply@Mark:
ReplyThanks sluggy. Very warm words. Love ya.
@Vance Sova:
ReplyIt is one of those once per lifetime things. An extraordinary event that amplifies all of the wins and losses of a lifetime, and allows those left to evaluate themselves. I feel your loss my friend and understand.
@David Wilson:
ReplyThanks David. You are loved.
DK, I’m sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you…
ReplyGreat stories DK….wish I could have met your amazing dad. My deepest sympathy.
ReplyMuch love, DK. My Father died on July 18th, 2001 on his 60th birthday. It was unexpected, but I learned how to use it to look at where I was and where I wanted to go. Be strong for the rest of your family and rent the Lion King so you can remind yourself of this whole ‘circle of life’ thing…
Reply@Fajar:
ReplyYou are loved Fajar. It is great friends like you that make this life so wonderful.
@Bryn Youngblut:
ReplyThanks so much bro. Ditto what I just said to Fajar. Your e-mail to me made me happy. Love you tons.
@Sanjay:
ReplyMy wife went to Africa last month and went on Safari. Adventurous girl. She watched animals all eating each other. We have been making lion king jokes ever since. Your comment is very appropriate.
So sorry for your loss! What a blessing though to have some many wonderful memories – your Dad will always live in your heart!
Reply@Jackie:
ReplyThanks Jackie. Wonderful to cross your path.
@DK man… I teared up reading this. Your Dad sounds like such an awesome man. Having just lost my Dad this past January, I can totally empathize with what you are currently experiencing. My thoughts are with you. I’m just an email away…
ReplyHey DK – being a new father I think your note touches on how every father hopes their son would remember them. Sounds like he was the kind of man that inspired you at every turn in your life…I imagine how proud he would be knowing that you had the courage and honor to share your personal thoughts with all of us. Thank you for doing that.
Reply@Eric Itzkowitz:
I hope you are recovering well. We can live in the spirit of our dads now, and do the things they would have wanted us to do.
ReplyI know you lost your dad too buddy. I thought of you. Well, we can hang out and cry together now!
Love ya! dk
@Moufid:
ReplyThank you so much for your kind words. He was a good inspiration, to myself and many others. Everyone loved the guy.
Heart is with you , the great ones live forever in our hearts and in our actions.
I grew up in Panorama City and my father has owned a nursery in Sun Valley for the past 25 years right on laurel canyon blvd. Next to the wash. Salazars Nursery.
I remember eating at Big Jim’s – then going to play miniature golf down the street.
Much respect.
Reply@Adolfo Those who grew up in that part of the valley and survived are rare! LOL Thank you so much for your kind words. I have such wonderful memories of Sun Valley. I think I remember your dads nursery. Adding beauty to such a dry and industrial area! That is great. What a great area that was of rattle snakes, and gangs, with pockets of great beauty, and people who appreciate just about everything they come across later in life. Nice to hear from you.
ReplyI’m sorry to hear about your loss, but at the same time it seems as though you’ve got some truly amazing memories. I just stumbled upon this post at a time where I’m attempting to mentally prepare for the fact that my father soon too may pass His health is failing and he’s getting older…I’m reminded of that regularly. It seem like yesterday that we played in the yard and did some of the things like you mentioned. Your story is truly moving and I’m going to take some time right now to contact him while I can. All too often we wait until it’s too late. Thank you for that reminder. I look forward to celebrating life (or lives) with you at PubCon again.
ReplyDavid, I loved your message and hope you will be there for the service on the Curlew in Dana Point at 10:30 am Friday.
ReplyDavid, I was really touched by your tribute to your father. So many weird, warm, and wonderful memories to carry around with you always, and share with others…
My own dad died almost fifteen years ago, at the age of 92. I still miss him, and think of him almost every day. Sometimes I find myself thinking idly, “Gee, I’ll have to call Dad and tell him about this…” — ooops, guess not. Haven’t got that particular phone number, unfortunately.
Your dad did do a great job of raising his son. Just think of all the people whose lives you’ve affected positively, both directly and indirectly. I am grateful to have you in my life, and happy to have read this loving description of your father.
Much love,
ReplyBetsy
@Betsy Gordon:
ReplyThe funny thing is that I still have three voice mail messages I have saved from him. At the end of each one it says, press 3 to return this message. I keep wondering where it is planning on sending those
Sorry for your loss.
I lost my dad five years ago. He and I didn’t really get along until I moved from GA to CA, but we talked in the phone nearly every day for the last 4 years of his life. I was also the last person to speak to him. I said “I love you” as we hung up the phone and he had a heart attack about 3 hours later.
Stay strong and remember the good stuff.
God Bless,
ReplySean
@Sean:
ReplyThank you so much. I am so glad you got that last call in.
Berny knew how much you loved him…and it was evident how much he loved you…I never saw two guys laugh as hard as when you were together.
Reply@purposeinc:
ReplyHave you tried pressing 3 to return the message?? It would be interesting to see what happens.
@Jorunn:
He loved you too.
Replyyes, we were very good at laughing.
@Betsy:
ReplyWouldn’t that be nice if that worked?
David,
With memories like those, your Dad will be at your side the rest of your life. We should all be so lucky to leave that kind of legacy.
Reply@Chris Thanks Chris. You are absolutely right. He was a lucky guy, and I am lucky to have had him as my dad.
ReplyDK, very touching post. Hear! Hear!… Raise a glass! To Bernie Klein, who did a really good job! And is surely smiling as he thinks about you, riding a long ass wheelie on a bad ass motorcyle, into the sunset…
Reply@David Gonzalez:
ReplyLOL That was the best thing anyone has said to me since my dad died. I love it! That is spectacular. Just wonderful David, wonderful.
There really are not words DK.
ReplyBut we try.
Same with life. Everything – words, actions, ‘control’– is just an approximation but we use it to move forward somehow. A life lived is exactly that – Our best at the time. My best to you.
I can understand how you became the success you are. Your love and genuine caring just oozes from you. Your post about your memories touched me deeply. Thank you for sharing, my life is a bit better because of you.
Reply@Kyle:
ReplyThank you Kyle, moving words.
@Dave:
ReplyThat is a very nice thing for you to say. I am continually touched by everything everyone has said to me.
DK, I lived in an immigrant family and the relationships are generally two ways, either really close or really far.
Unfortunately, I’m the latter. I’ve been slowly been rebuilding my relationship with my Dad. It’s kind of awkward and I don’t really know what to talk to him about except business. But your story has inspired me to try to call him daily.
Thanks! I am also inspired by how you are able to keep a smile and share your love, even with your loss.
Reply@Hoo Kang:
ReplyHoo, I am sure he will be worth the effort. Just imagine if he was gone tomorrow, and that will let you decide what is best done today. Thank you for the nice words.
Sorry to hear about your dad DK. I’m only just recently getting to know you and I already feel like you are good people.
What are you working on? How can I help you??
Pam Hoffman
Replyhttp://twitter.com/PamHoffman
What a sad story. I am sorry for your loss. I remember what it was like when my father passed away. It is tough but I am thankful for all the knowledge he gave me so in a way, he lives on in me today.
ReplyA bit belated, but no less genuine, you have my condolences for your loss. Reading this, I feel like I knew the man a little, as well as the relationship you had with him. Thank you for sharing that with those of us who never had the chance to be a part of it all more directly.
ReplyI just found out today. I will always remember him with love. He was the first man to actually treat me like a person and actually listen to my opinion. Loved going to his parties and seeing his great family. Will miss him. This world needs more people like him.
Reply